Profound Shit

“‘Two rolls of toilet paper running out at the same time marks the failure of human civilization.’ - Eleanor Roosevelt           …Please be considerate.”

This is an actual note from my actual place of work actually intended to promote change in habits of toilet paper usage.

The Chronic of Narnia
A Clockwork Yellow
The Ass Menagerie
— Less Ambitious Books
❝We goin’ to the club.❞ — black people
Cataclysmic situations.
A-List actors father rebellious daughters.
Things explode.
— 90s action films

Good Talk: Making Progress

Me: ”You’re not going to believe this, but we’re actually working in the same neighborhood now.”

Ex-Boyfriend: ”Bitch, get out of my life.”

Good talk.

❝I want to stick my flash drive into your USB port… and upload its contents.❞ — nerd foreplay
All purpose sauce. For all purposes.

All purpose sauce. For all purposes.

❝Of all the joints in all the towns in all the world, she smokes mine.❞ — Huffrey Bogart

Run-On Sentences and Sentence Fragments and Grammatical Errors and Shit

Just because you’re on the internet or your phone and not writing some grad school dissertation doesn’t mean that the laws of grammar don’t apply to you and that run-on sentences are okay and that you can get away with writing long meandering thoughts devoid of structure because that just doesn’t work and grammar is an element of the English language meant to be implemented regardless of the medium you are writing in meaning that the internet and social media are not exempt and so with that in mind you really should spell-check and ensure that what you’re writing is coherent and maintains some level of fluidity because how can you really expect people to be able to comprehend an entire thought beginning to end without one punctuation mark

Good Talk: Mother-Daughter Bonding

Mom: How nice of you to help me peel these potatoes!

Me: Don’t be fooled. I just find it therapeutic to rip the skin off of once-living things.

Good talk.